a long week
January 7th
I lay my body down consciously that I was automatically alarmed around 3am. I helped my mom, trying to sleep it off after 3 hours, I can hear my dad grumble behind.
My head ached, my friend rang me for some minutes, texted her that I decided to skip school today, I turned off my phone.
Mom woke me up around 9am, brought me my breakfast. I talk to my boyfriend for a couple of hours and got back to the kitchen as my mom yelled for me to help her.
All the class operated today, a little proud of myself that I was able to answer my teacher's question about the relation between Johann Mendel and genetics. Even though I know a 12-year-old teenybopper can give a better answer than mine.
My anxiety got back amid Biology class, I was again trying to figure out what major I fit in for university. I scribbled on the last page of my note, predicting what my postcard would be like at least 3 years from now:
Dear, X
January 5th
I can't hold my cry on the call, my boyfriend tried to calm me down. I feel cured henceforth, after being besieged for two and a half years, going through the same awkwardness 5 days a week.
I am confused about the explanation I shall give to my best friend, years ago I put that topic away each time we met. Make sure I'm happy, being alone and drowned in books among boisterous classmates is my decision. Nothing to worry about. I also have 3 other friends I am close to.
Deep down, I know, never mind the effort I made, there's no seat left for me. I'm so sensitive, and it's my problem.
January 4th
Only one scoop left of the Ice Cream I made yesterday. My brother convinced me it somehow fell from the refrigerator. I felt less disappointed, it could be because I already expected, he would find out where I put my Ice cream while I'm in school and he's home, pretending he caught a cold.
January 3rd
I lay my body down consciously that I was automatically alarmed around 3am. I helped my mom, trying to sleep it off after 3 hours, I can hear my dad grumble behind.
My head ached, my friend rang me for some minutes, texted her that I decided to skip school today, I turned off my phone.
Mom woke me up around 9am, brought me my breakfast. I talk to my boyfriend for a couple of hours and got back to the kitchen as my mom yelled for me to help her.
January 6th
All the class operated today, a little proud of myself that I was able to answer my teacher's question about the relation between Johann Mendel and genetics. Even though I know a 12-year-old teenybopper can give a better answer than mine.
My anxiety got back amid Biology class, I was again trying to figure out what major I fit in for university. I scribbled on the last page of my note, predicting what my postcard would be like at least 3 years from now:
Dear, X
The last semester of high school filled my mind with future plans. I thought that owning 4 cats and an enthusiasm for watching National Geographic would build me into a successful veterinary student. Recently, I realized it was a pseudonym. I merely wanted to look honorable, surrounded by animals and a vet coat, get a proper job, lot of money after doing surgery on a dog.
My History teacher walked away, leaving no word. Disappointed that my friend wasn't paying attention to her lecture. We all become silent at once.
My History teacher walked away, leaving no word. Disappointed that my friend wasn't paying attention to her lecture. We all become silent at once.
January 5th
I can't hold my cry on the call, my boyfriend tried to calm me down. I feel cured henceforth, after being besieged for two and a half years, going through the same awkwardness 5 days a week.
I am confused about the explanation I shall give to my best friend, years ago I put that topic away each time we met. Make sure I'm happy, being alone and drowned in books among boisterous classmates is my decision. Nothing to worry about. I also have 3 other friends I am close to.
Deep down, I know, never mind the effort I made, there's no seat left for me. I'm so sensitive, and it's my problem.
January 4th
Only one scoop left of the Ice Cream I made yesterday. My brother convinced me it somehow fell from the refrigerator. I felt less disappointed, it could be because I already expected, he would find out where I put my Ice cream while I'm in school and he's home, pretending he caught a cold.
January 3rd
First day of my last semester in high school. Boring.
January 2nd
-
January 1st.
Happy New Year.
I stay on my bed, watching a video about human puberty. I mull over pointless matters as the video ended, like the depression I had a year ago, as well as the impact of it, insomniac. I cured the cause, and the bump of it slowly faded.
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