a long week

January 7th

I lay my body down consciously that I was automatically alarmed around 3am. I helped my mom, trying to sleep it off after 3 hours, I can hear my dad grumble behind, saying my work is unsatisfied him. 

My head aching, my friend rang me for some minutes, texted her that I decide to skip school today, I turned off my phone.

Mom wakes me up around 9am, brought me my breakfast. I talk to my boyfriend for a couple of hours and get back to the kitchen as my mom yelled for me to help her.

January 6th

All the class operates today, a little proud of myself that I be able to answer my teacher's question of the relation between Johann Mendel and genetics. Even though, I know a 12 year old teenybopper can give a better answer than mine. 

My anxiety get back amid Biology class, I again trying to figure out what major I fit in for university. I scribbled on the last page of my note, predict what my postcard would written like at least 3 years by now:

Dear, X

The last semester of high school filled my mind with future plans. I thought by owning 4 cats and an enthusiasm to watch National Geography will build me into a successful veterinary student. Recently, I realized it was a pseudo. I merely wanted to look honorable, surrounded by animals and a vet coat, get a proper job, lot of money after doing surgery on a dog. 

My Hist
ory teacher walked away, leaving no word. Disappointed that my friend wasn't paying attention to her lecture. We all at once become silent.

January 5th 

I can't hold my cry on call, my boyfriend tried to calm me down. I feel cured henceforth, after besieging for two and half years, going through the same awkwardness 5 days a week. 

I am confused about the explanation I shall give to my best friend, years I put that topic away each time we meet. Make her sure I'm happy, being alone and drowned with books among boisterous classmates is my decision. Nothing to worry about. I also have 3 other friends I am close to.

Deep down I know, never mind the effort I made, there's no seat left for me. I'm so sensitive, and its my problem.

January 4th

Only one scoop left of the Ice Cream I made yesterday. My brother convinced me it somehow fell from the refrigerator. I felt less disappointed, could be because I already expected, he will find out where I put my Ice cream while I'm in school and he's home, pretending he caught a cold.

January 3rd

First day of my last semester in high school. Boring. 

January 2nd

-

January 1st.

Happy new year.

I stay on my bed, watching a video about human puberty, I mull over pointless matters as the video ended, like the depression I had a year ago, as well as the impact of it, insomniac. I cure the cause and the bump of it slowly faded.








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